I like to think of God as bisexual, like me. The Lord loves us equally, regardless of our gender.
St. Paul said to the Galatians who were quarreling over the nature of the inclusion of non-Jews in the church:
“there is no longer Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)Your gender does not determine how much the Lord loves you. God loves our souls, not our bodies. Our bodies are barriers to unity with God. Only in our spirits can we be one with God and one another.
One way we nourish our relationship with God is prayer. A priest once told me that when people ask, “what is prayer?”—he simply responds, “Relationship.”
Like any relationship, it takes a lot time and energy—but the more you give, the more you get.
Really good prayer can be like spiritual sex with God, unifying your spirit with the Holy Spirit. God asks for consent, not forcing anyone into intimacy. The gift of free will allows you to choose whether or not to invite with God into your life, making your relationship voluntary and authentic.
I went to the chapel for a night of Eucharistic Adoration, an ancient Catholic prayer practice where you meditate before Christ embodied in the physical form of bread. I experienced intense intimacy with my God in that prayer. It was like my soul woke up after being asleep for several months. The love I felt was more satisfying than any human intimacy I’ve ever known.
Here’s a poetic description of my intimate experience with God that night:
I kneel down and outstretch my arms as if inviting a hug.
The corners of my mouth stretch into a smile as I respond to an inside joke between us. My eyelids close and reopen. I nod to God and think, “I’m back...”
I stare at the host like a child stares at the stars. My wide-eyed vision blurs candlelight into the golden host and it shines like the sun. Rays of light dance forth from this earthly glimpse of the face of God.
My soul yawns out of my body, drawn towards the presence of the Lord. Internal goose bumps stream up my body and out through my open fingertips.
“I love you.” I sigh.
“I love you more,” says God.
God serenades me as a violin weaves music through the air. Tears seep out of my un-blinking eyes.
I shed my bodily cage and my soul pours into His ocean.
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For prayer tips, check out this awesome article.
(My personal favorite is the prayer journal.)
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2 comments:
Hi, Rachel! Firstly - you are a talented writer. Your poem at the end was just lovely, and could've easily described my experiences in Adoration.
What I struggle with is the idea that "God loves our souls, not our bodies", and "our bodies are are barriers to unity with God". That hasn't been my experience at all, and it seems (to me) at odds with the Incarnation. I think the fact God became flesh elevates the dignity of the body, that God loves both our soul AND our body, and that we actually experience God THROUGH our bodies - through all the senses. That's why we have sacraments like the Eucharist. If the body is only a cage, what is the importance of the Resurrection? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Hi Gianna! I was so happy to see your comment. I apologize for taking so long to reply. I have been thinking about your comments throughout the week. I agree with you-- our bodies are sacred and God loves them. Thank you for correcting me. I failed to communicate what I meant to say.
In an earlier draft of the post, I talked about how God knows that in our humanity we need to physically experience Him, and that the Eucharist is God's generous gift let us do that. I cut that part out it partially because the post was getting too long. But I was also confused, since those thoughts conflicted with my other thoughts about God loving our souls.
After some reflection, I realize that I was referring more to sin than the body itself. In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus gives a great lecture to the Pharisees when they question him for eating with 'defiled hands' rather than following hand washing tradition. He says that "It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within the human heart that evil intentions come." I have come to understand bisexuality is not inherently sinful because it is not the action that is evil but the intention behind that action. All sexuality can be sinful if the intentions are lustful, but God does not despise the act of sex. So instead of saying "God loves our souls, not our bodies," I might rephrase and say "God loves our good intentions, not our actions."
As for the body as a barrier to God, I intended to comment on the eternal soul as opposed to the temporary body. While in our bodies, we are limited in our unity with God, but Jesus died so we could experience full unity with God in his kingdom. Maybe I am wrong to think of earth as a time of separation from God--surely, that is what hell is. But As humans, we sin, and sin separates is from God. To me, the 'bodily cage' means the trap of human sin.
I would love to hear you response to my thoughts. This is a big part of why I am writing this blog-- to start these kind of conversations.
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