Pride and Prejudice in Wearing a Rainbow Ribbon

I’ve been wearing
a rainbow ribbon on my coat
for the past few weeks.
It’s terrifying,
sometimes.
Why?
That’s a good question.
 
I wanted to wear the
colors with pride, but
I fear being judged
by people.
 
I took me weeks
after I got the ribbon
to work up the courage
to wear it.
 
It sat patiently
on my bureau,
staring at me
as I put my make-up on.
“Put me on, too,”
the rainbow ribbon
would say to me.
I pretended not to hear.
I avoided eye contact
with the ribbon as I put
the eyeliner down
and rushed out the door
to face the day.
 
One day,
God challenged me.
“What are you waiting for?”
He asked. “You already have
my approval. You don’ t need
anyone else’s approval.
Be not afraid, for I am with you.”
 
I realized then that
wearing the ribbon
was not about me
being brave or proud or free.
It was about being obedient.
It was about glorifying God.
It was about standing up for oppressed people of God.
It was about solidarity with my LGBT brothers and sisters
who do not blend in as well as I do.
 
Being a femme bisexual
is frustrating,
sometimes
because I am assumed to be straight.
But I get the benefit of
not worrying about kids asking me
“Are you a boy or a girl?”

So for all the kids who really
have it pretty bad, maybe I should
wear my ribbon loud and proud
so they hear me say,
“You are not alone!”
 
And so far,
no one has spoken a word of
prejudice to my face for wearing
a rainbow ribbon.